onyxhealer (onyxhealer) wrote in seacoast_poly,

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obligatory introductory post cause I finally jumped on the bandwagon

I think this would be the obligatory introductory post.

I am in my late twenties, live in southern NH (though I'll be moving to the seacoast area in the near future) and I have been in a number of polyamorous relationships. I've also been in a number of monogamous relationships too; I've experienced both sides.

This next bit is just my opinion, formed from my personal experiences and reflections.

I have recently come to believe that although polyamory and monogamy are comparable to sexual orientations in that "some people are just wired that way" they are also comparable to sexual orientations in another way. They are a spectrum, without clear well-defined divisions. I believe that just as some people can be bisexual (50%/50% split) and some can favor one sex over the other but not to the exclusion of the other (70/30%, 80/20%, etc.)- polyamory also falls along a similar kind of spectrum of sexual orientation. There may be some people out there who are dyed-in-the-wool monogamists- incapable of even being attracted to anyone else when they're in love with that one person. There also may be some people out there who are always going to be polyamorous- loving many, attracted to many, and willing and able to sustain loving relationships with more than one person. But I believe that there is a third kind of person, the "bisexual" of the poly/monogamy spectrum... who falls somewhere in between.

I've found monogamy to be satisfying and fulfilling. I've found polyamory to be satisfying and fulfilling. I've also experienced some of the problems and pitfalls in both. I identify as that third type, the "invisible" liminal type of the poly world who has both monogamous and polyamorous traits.

This does not mean that I'm confused, that I need to make up my mind, that I just haven't found the right poly relationship yet, or that I'm not "really" poly.

I'm just both.

Anyways... I am aware that some of that, the last paragraph in particular, may have come across as a little confrontational. I don't mean it in that spirit. Rather, I hope to provide some food for thought, introduce myself, and possible get the ball rolling on some conversation and posts in a community that seems like it doesn't get much action. (Wordplay not intended and simply a happy and amusing accident. ;))

I look forward to getting to know those of you that I don't know, and chatting more with those of you that I do.

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